ALL THE CITY LIGHTS

All the City Lights

By John M. Twomey

CAST OF CHARACTERS

(in order of appearance)

SEAMUS O'CASEY, in his mid 70S

BRIAN O'CASEY, in his early 50s

PEPE, in his 70s

FERRARO, in his 70s

RABINOWITZ, in his 70s

DANNY O'CASEY, 30

PEGGY O'CASEY, in her early 50s

ANGIE SORVINO, 30

FRANK D'ANGELO, in his 40s

Setting

O’Casey’s Pub.

Queens, New York.

Time

The present.

Scene One

O’Casey’s Pub, a neighborhood bar and grille in Sunnyside, New York.

The entrance from the street is stage right. Also at stage right is a window that looks onto the street. The bar runs across stage rear. At stage left there is an entrance to an unseen dining area. In front of the bar are three round tables at which 4 people can sit.

The bar looks much as it did when it first opened in the late 1940s. It’s has been well maintained, though, and does not look at all seedy. It is not trendy either, but does have some modern touches--a large color TV, an electronic cash register, signs for some of the newer microbrewed beers, etc. Overall the bar has a strong comforting quality.

The lights rise just enough so that most of the bar is barely visible. We can see that 3 men are sitting at the middle round table and a fourth man is behind the bar. In the extreme foreground, facing the audience, is Seamus O'Casey. The lights rise on him. He is 75 and a bit of a dapper dresser. He is ruddy, trim, and has thick white hair. No one would mistake him for anything but Irish. He is holding a pint of Guinness.

Seamus

Fifty years ago...fifty years ago I opened this place. O'Casey's Pub, Queens Boulevard, Sunnyside, New York. Just a stone's throw from the big city. Climb on the roof and you can see Manhattan.

BRIAN

(from behind the bar)

Hey Pop, stop talking to yourself...you're making me nervous.

Seamus

I was a young lad when I came over. My father put me on the boat and said make the most of your life, son. He kissed me on the forehead and told me New York was a big place, a magical place, a place where I could be King of the World if I wanted to. I told him he was full of the Blarney.

BRIAN

Hey Pop!

Seamus

And then the boat pulled into New York Harbor. It was night and all the city lights were shining. They were like a million stars in the sky. On the clearest night in County Cork I'd never seen so many stars. So many stars, so many lights. All the city lights were shining. All the city lights were calling out to me.

BRIAN

Hey Pop!

The lights rise on the rest of the bar. Brian is behind the bar. He’s in his early fifties, burly and balding. Pepe, Ferraro and Rabinowitz, the three men at the table, are older than Brian but younger than Seamus. Pepe is very youthful for his age, Ferraro less so, and Rabinowitz not at all.

Seamus

What?

BRIAN

Stop talking to yourself.

Seamus

I'm not talking to myself.

BRIAN

Then who are you talking to?

PEPE

Your father can talk to anyone he wants to.

Seamus refills his pint.

Seamus

I want to propose a toast.

Pepe rises.

PEPE

Get up you guys.

Rabinowitz and Ferraro rise, but it seems to be a major effort.

Seamus

Don't strain yourselves.

Seamus raises his pint.

Seamus

To my son Brian, on his son Danny’s 30th birthday.

PEPE, RABINOWITZ and FERRARO

To Brian.

They raise pints of Guinness.

PEPE

Where is Danny?

Brian looks at his watch.

BRIAN

Still on duty.

Rabinowitz and Ferraro sit.

RABINOWITZ

They make a man work on his birthday?

FERRARO

What a rotten police force.

Seamus

Another toast. May God and St. Patrick grant Danny and us all many good years to come.

BRIAN

Us? More good years? When was the last one?

Seamus

They're all good.

BRIAN

They'd be better in Arizona.

Brian turns away and starts cleaning behind the bar. Seamus ignores him and turns to the others.

Seamus

May God and St. Patrick grant us all many good years to come.

PEPE

Salute!

Pepe sits. Seamus remains standing.

RABINOWITZ

How many good years could we have left? How many years could we have left?

Seamus

As many as God and St. Patrick want to grant us.

RABINOWITZ

St. Patrick isn't looking out for me.

SEAMUS

Sure he is.

RABINOWITZ

With a last name like Rabinowitz.

Seamus

You're my friend. He'll keep an eye on you.

RABINOWITZ

I'm not long for the grave. We're all not long for the grave.

Seamus

That's a lot of--

BRIAN

Don't say blarney.

Seamus

--blarney!

BRIAN

God I hate that word.

Seamus

I don't feel a day over 30.

PEPE

We should all look as good as Seamus.

FERRARO

It's the haircut I gave him.

Seamus

Haircut? It's my blood. You take too much off the top.

RABINOWITZ

You're lucky he didn't take an ear off. Nearly severed mine.

FERRARO

You don't sit still.

RABINOWITZ

Is it my fault I had to sneeze?

FERRARO

You're always sneezing and sniffling...and complaining about it.

RABINOWITZ

You go to the Fulton Fish Market every dawn...no matter how cold it gets...see how you feel.

FERRARO

You spray my customers with germs.

RABINOWITZ

I don't spray your customers.

FERRARO

Mr. Levine hasn't been back since you sneezed on him.

Brian looks up from the bar.

BRIAN

He's dead.

FERRARO

See what you did!

RABINOWITZ

Blame me for everything.

Seamus

He was in for a pint just last Sunday.

PEPE

What happened?

BRIAN

Hit by a bus.

FERRARO

No.

RABINOWITZ

Oy vey.

BRIAN

Crossing Queens Boulevard and had his eye on some floozy.

PEPE

Horny old bastard.

Brian slaps his hands together.

BRIAN

Didn't see it coming.

RABINOWITZ

Poor Mr. Levine.

PEPE

Gotta hand it to him, though. He could still get it up at his age.

FERRARO

It's an achievement.

Seamus

He was a Guinness drinker.

PEPE

And he ate olive oil.

RABINOWITZ

Get what up?

PEPE

His temperature…what do you think?

RABINOWITZ

Oh...that. Still? What for?

BRIAN

You gentlemen should be ashamed…such talk at your ages.

PEPE

Seamus, deep down I think your son is a little Catholic school girl.

Seamus

I remember when I told him about the birds and the bees.

BRIAN

Pop!

Seamus

Threw up all over the place…

BRIAN

Pop! No one wants to hear this.

Seamus

…Just like when he had his first Guinness.

Everyone laughs. Then a pause.

RABINOWITZ

Poor Mr. Levine. He was a salmon man. Liked his bluefish once in a while too.

BRIAN

Did you hear about Grossman the butcher?

rabinowitz

Don't tell me he's dead too.

BRIAN

He's retiring.

Pepe

Retiring? Why would he want to do a crazy thing like that?

BRIAN

He has to retire.

Pepe

He's never been sick a day in his life.

BRIAN

He's going out of business.

Pepe

Seamus, Grossman’s has been in business longer than you have. His grandfather started the shop, for God's sake.

Seamus

I sold my first pint to his grandfather.

BRIAN

Times aren't what they used to be.

FERRARO

Everyone shops at those big warehouse clubs. Another one just opened on Northern Boulevard.

Seamus

Warehouse club. What a ridiculous thing. Tell people they're part of a club and they'll buy anything.

RABINOWITZ

My Shirley and I went. I’ve got enough toilet paper to last the rest of my life. It’s a comfort.

PEPE

Why is Grossman going out of business?

BRIAN

He couldn't make the lease. Frank D'Angelo is taking over the store.

FERRARO

What does Frank D’Angelo know about the butcher business?

BRIAN

Not a damned thing. But he knows plenty about the real-estate business. He'll control the whole block soon.

PEPE

Not as long as I'm alive. I follow my lease to the letter. He'll never get my pizza parlor. Goddamn bloodsucking bastard. And he's an Italian too.

RABINOWITZ

Imagine what he'd do to a Jew? I shudder just to think of it.

BRIAN

You gentlemen can stay here if you want…but not me if I get my way.

PEPE

What are you talking about?

SEAMUS

He’s talking a lot of blarney.

BRIAN

I’m not talking blarney…I’m talking nothing but sense. It’s time to pack up and get out.

PEPE

Get out?

BRIAN

Get out of the bar business, get out of Queens, get out of this Godforsaken city.

PEPE

I don’t get it. You just retired from the police force and now you want to give up the bar? What would you do? Where would you go?

BRIAN

When my old partner Jimmy Doyle retired from the force, he packed up the family and moved to Flagstaff, Arizona. Beautiful place. He sends me postcards.

Brian takes some postcards from behind the bar and shows them to Pepe.

BRIAN

Just 70 miles from the Grand Canyon. Think of that, just 70 miles from one of the seven wonders of the world.

Seamus

A feckin hole in the ground, that’s what it is.

BRIAN

Pop, don’t get funny in the head on me.

SEAMUS

I’m not funny in the head, and I’m not going anywhere.

BRIAN

You said one day…

SEAMUS

This isn’t the day.

BRIAN

Look around you Pop…where are the customers?

SEAMUS

It’s a bit slow.

BRIAN

It’s empty.

SEAMUS

It’s early.

BRIAN

What if Frank D’Angelo walked in now?

SEAMUS

He’d be a customer.

BRIAN

We could get a good deal from Frank D’Angelo.

SEAMUS

I’m not dealing with him.

BRIAN

If he thought we were struggling and desperate to sell, he’d slice his offer in half.

Seamus

What offer? There is no offer.

BRIAN

Not yet. But there will be if we play our cards right.

SEAMUS

I don’t want an offer. And no one’s struggling and no one’s desperate.

BRIAN

Balance sheets don’t lie.

Seamus

This is nothing…remember when the city was going broke and the President told us to drop dead. The neighborhood was dying…all the old-timers were leaving. Now that was a struggle. And do you think I thought about giving up for one moment? No, not on your life. And I came back stronger than ever.

BRIAN

You were a lot younger then, Pop.

Seamus

I was your age. And I was a fighter.

BRIAN

Maybe I just don’t have it in me, Pop.

Seamus

So you want to run off to the desert and wait to die.

BRIAN

A man could be happy there.

SEAMUS

A man could be happy anywhere.

BRIAN

So why not be happy in Arizona?

BRIAN

There’s nothing left for us here, Pop. There’s no reason to hang on.

The lights dim on the bar.

END OF SCENE